My Stoopid Fanfic
by Zxyu00
Summary: A long, humorous, but bad story written a while ago. I have decided to post it in its entirety with little to no editing. Zxyu and the Gundam pilots fight against Mariemaia who destroys Earth and uses Zech's fighting data in mobile DOLLs.
1. So the Conflict Begins

My Stoopid Fanfic  
  
A silent figure quietly snuck through the halls of the supposedly deserted ship. From the figure's position, all that could be heard was the tip tap tappity of a keyboard. The figure mentally slapped himself for planning the mission while men were still on board but because of his perseverance, he needed to finish the mission for the good of his cause.  
  
The young man at the computer looked up from his work. "Hnnn,"he grunted as he looked around to find the location of the slight sound he had heard.   
  
The figure spied a guard by the entrance to the mobile suit hangar. The subject was a young adult male in his early 20s to late teens. He had light weaponry which included a mere pistol and some grenades on the side of his belt. The man didn't seem to notice the figure sneaking up behind him. He was basking in the warm light of what seemed to be a miniature television set. Suddenly the young man burst out laughing as he watched a funny part of whatever he was watching.  
  
"Duo,"muttered Heero, the young man by the computer as he looked around  
  
once more. He continued typing.  
  
The hidden figure, deciding that this moron wasn't worth the time, looked around and found another door. He looked at the door and found a standard lock. Figuring this would be easy, he picked the lock and then walked in. Unfortunately, he was unaware of the camera in the corner of the room. The figure walked out another door and saw two men talking and playing some kind of board game.  
  
"Isn't it your turn to check the cameras?"asked a young blonde man to his companion,"we still have many threats, if you remember correctly."  
  
The other man moved his bishop towards his opponent's king and quietly said,"Checkmate, my game. Don't worry. Heero is a good enough security system. If anyone even tries to get in, he'll have them blown up in less than a minute."  
  
"Heh,"snickered the figure as he looked at the two men who were unaware of his presence,"morons."  
  
Heero looked up once more but he still didn't hear anything except for the annoying laughter of Duo and the discussions of Trowa and Quatre. The figure, seeing that all was clear, ran through an open door into the mobile suit hangar. Nothing was visible except for the outlines of six mobile suits.  
  
"The gundams, "said the figure while basking in their might, "what powerful machines."  
  
Another man in his bedroom upstairs heard something. He looked around but saw nothing. Thinking that all was well, the Chinese man went back to practicing his sword skills.  
  
The intruder located his goal, the gundam known as Wing Zero. The intruder slowly climbed up the side of the gundam and located the cockpit. He found a lever and pulled it to open up the cockpit.  
  
Heero, whose psychic connection with his gundam suddenly started kicking up, stood up. He knew that there was something wrong. He didn't know what, but he knew it involved his gundam. All the other pilots, noticing the absence of Heero's tapping on the keyboard, sensed something was wrong and headed towards the hangar.  
  
The intruder was just about to climb into the cockpit when a bullet flew by his head and hit the machine. Surprised by the shot, the figure loosened his grip and fell to the ground. As he lay on the ground, he looked up to see the faces of five men. He was about to get up when the back of a gun suddenly flew towards his face and knocked him unconscious.  
  
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
The intruder woke up to find himself in some kind of cell. It was pitch black so the man couldn't see a single thing.  
  
In another part of the ship, five men were discussing the situation.  
  
"He must be a part of the Sadukar,"said Quatre as he looked over the intruder through a camera.  
  
"Impossible,"said Heero,"the Sadukar aren't known for these kinds of missions. They are vicious people who merely attack and destroy."  
  
Wufei threw his sword in the air, caught it,"I say we just kill him and get it over with."  
  
Trowa spoke up and said," No, he could be of some importance. I say we interrogate him first."  
  
"If it's interrogation we want, we might as well send in the best," interrupted Duo," my babe, Hilde."  
  
"Acceptable,"said Heero as he looked at the confused prisoner,"tomorrow morning, when we are well rested. Wufei, you are the guard for tonight. We all know how well Duo does his job."  
  
"Heh,"laughed Duo as was thinking up an excuse. Resigning himself to his lack of a comeback, he responded,"Well, shut up Heero."  
  
~The next morning~  
  
"I'm going to keep introductions short. I'm Hilde, now, what is your name, bitch?" asked Hilde in a firm voice."Tell me before I have to kick your ass!"  
  
The young man looked at Hilde and laughed,"Why should I listen to you, little Ms. Prissy?"  
  
Hilde's face turned bright red with anger. She stepped closer to the prisoner and slapped him, leaving a red hand mark on his left cheek. She walked back to her original position and said,"Little Ms. Prissy...hah! You've got to use a better an insult than that, learn a few swears."  
  
Duo let out a snort,"Now that is the Hilde that I know and love. Teach him who is the boss, babe."  
  
"My name is Zxyu," said the prisoner,"and I do not appreciate being hit for a grade school insult. Though I must admit, you're quite the little fireball, and I mean that in the nicest way possible."  
  
Hilde blushed a bit as she received the compliment. Realizing what she was doing, she put on her angry face and asked another question to the smiling young lad,"Why are you here?"  
  
"My mission objective states not to release the mission data to anyone outside of the Hangun."  
  
Hilde took out her gun and a bullet right past Zxyu's head. The bullet barely missed as it whizzed past Zxyu's ear and drove itself into the wall.  
  
In the other room, the five guys were discussing their views. Heero was commending Hilde on her skills while Quatre was insisting that they should try talking it out peacefully before they kill him. Duo was just laughing and Wufei and Trowa were silent.  
  
"But for a babe like you, I'd tell anything," finished Zxyu.  
  
Hilde blushed again, but this time it was a bit more obvious. Hilde made a big decision and proceeded with her new course of action. She took off her coat, covered up the camera, and whispered into Zxyu's ear, "there is a vent under the dirt at the northwest corner of the room. Leave during Duo's watch, he'll probably be too busy watching TV to notice you leaving. After you get out, proceed to shuttle bay 2 where there is an escape shuttle that you can leave in."  
  
Meanwhile, in the other room, Duo was going mad. "What the hell does she think she's doing,"shouted Duo at the top of his lungs. "Okay, I'm going down there and I'm going to find out once and for all."  
  
"Heh,"smiled Zxyu,"I'd leave now but I'm too busy staring into your beautiful eyes."  
  
Hilde smiled,"Now this is what I've been missing with Duo. Oh crap, there he is, quickly, go down the vent...NOW!!"  
  
"And leave you?"asked Zxyu as he took off the top of the vent,"no way."  
  
Duo rushed in and ran towards the supposedly harmless Zxyu. Before he could put his fists to good use, Zxyu smashed the top of the vent onto Duo's head. He spit on the unconscious Duo, gave one last look towards Hilde, and left the room.  
  
The other four pilots reached the cell a few minutes after Zxyu had left. After receiving an elaborate and nonsensical lie from Hilde, they ran towards the shuttle bay.  
  
"Where is that intruder?"asked a furious Wufei.  
  
Heero examined the ground and frowned,"He escaped."  
  
Duo, who just walked into the shuttle bay, looked around groggily. He examined the place where his best friend had rested and shouted,"THAT &)^$ %!#@ TOOK MY DEATHSCYTHE HELL!!!!"  
  
Meanwhile, back in the cell, Hilde smiled. She looked at the picture of Duo in her pocket and thought,"Maybe he isn't then right one after all."  
  
~Later that day~  
  
"WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?!"screamed Sabin, a general for the Hangun army,"we asked for the ZERO system, not this hunk of junk!"  
  
General Sabin paced around a bit before he looked down at Zxyu. Sabin looked at the rest of his troops and sat down in a nearby chair and burrowed his face into his hands.  
  
"But sir, I couldn't take the ZERO system. I was captured by the ancient gundam pilots,"said Zxyu in fear," I was barely able to escape. I had to take the Deathscythe HELL!"  
  
Zxyu then began to walk back in fear as the general stood up,"YOU ARE TO FOLLOW MISSION OBJECTIVES!!!DO YOU HEAR ME?!?!?!? " He took a few deep breathes, "But how did you escape?"  
  
Zxyu tried not to let tears escape. His mentor was furious at him for something as measly as stealing the wrong mobile suit. His foolish notion of revenge got the better of him.  
  
"TELL ME!!!!"screamed the general, getting fed up with waiting.  
  
"Well sir,"gulped a scared Zxyu,"I do believe that a young girl on the ship let me escape."  
  
"Well at least you have someone inside"  
  
"I'm not even sure of that."  
  
"But now I have a plan."  
  
"What is it, sir?"  
  
"You'll find out soon enough. Right now go to your quarters."  
  
"But...but," Zxyu stuttered  
  
"Don't worry, we're at no risk of Sadukar attack now, so go."  
  
Zxyu, head held down in shame, walked to his quarters. When he was around the corner, he heard a all the other soldiers guffawing at his expense."Why,"asked the dejected man.   
  
He found his way into his quarters. It was a Spartan room, a living place of few objects, but it was good enough for him. There was a bed, television, and a few personal memoirs of past loved ones.  
  
"Why,"he asked to nobody in particular,"why me?  
  
Zxyu held up a photo that he had by his bed. It was his mother and father at a party. There were many people in the background but the highlights of the picture were Zxyu's parents partying with Zechs and Noin. He lightly traced the outline of his mother's face with his finger and put it down.  
  
"I need to see it again, to remember,"he cried as he put a disc into the machine,"I need to remember."  
  
"Today,"said a newscaster from a previous showing from many years ago,"today we mourn the death of one of our best pilots, Zechs Merquise. He died during an attack on the planet of Omina, fighting it out until the end. We now join Christine McAuliffe on the field with more information."  
  
"Thank you, Sarah," said Christine." I am on the scene of a building decimated by the enemy machines. Based on preliminary data, there was only one survivor discovered and she soon died on the scene. We have footage of her last words, she refused medical help so she could relay what happened."  
  
The clip played, displaying a haggard woman on the screen. Zxyu wiped his eyes, when he saw his mother, Celes Araka.  
  
"What happened? ,"asked a haggard woman on the screen,"we were attacked by the Sadukar. They came down in their new...Gemini suits...and asked....to see Zechs...Merquise."  
  
She took a few labored breaths," They shot Lieutenant Noin in the leg and...Zechs shot them back...he went to fight them...Noin went too...she was shot back down onto the planet. They destroyed all of the defensive suits but spared Zechs...they dragged him away.   
  
She took a few more breaths. "Noin was...killed...maybe. The Sadukar destroyed half of the planet...and seriously wounded all life...on the other half...if not kill them...give my...hope and love to my...son."  
  
"She used her last remaining strands of life to deliver this information," stated Christine." The approximate 572 casualties were on a terra-forming mission to the planet of Omina, where the accident occurred."  
  
"Thank you, Christine," said the newscaster. "Just this past week, the government has collected an anonymous piece of evidence also implicating the previous minor threat, the Sadukar."   
  
The clip changed to show Zechs strapped to a table.  
  
"I won't let you do anything to me," screamed Zechs, determined to live life until the end.   
  
"This won't take long,"said Cid, a Sadukar scientist," you will be of much use to us."  
  
Cid proceeded with his work. He took neurological scans of Zechs brain pattern and began a bit of work. He continued to separate his battle skills from all the other parts of the mind. With this done, he put Zechs in an airlock and emptied him into space.  
  
"Ahhh, my pretty,"stated Cid,"you will help me make a whole new race of mobile suits."  
  
"That is all we have," stated the newscaster, professionally showing no compassion.  
  
Suddenly, static popped up and all that was left was a slight reflection of a young man broken down and crying in pain.  
  
"But then they used Zechs' battle info to make superior Gemini gundams which were better than all the Gundam pilots except for one by the name of Heero Yuy. Despite the fact that he had modified the ZERO system to be the ultimate fighting machine, he was still constantly beaten,"said Sabin as he walked in."Sit up soldier, don't cry. We have your new mission objectives."  
  
Zxyu looked up and cried out,"You were watching me?"   
  
"Don't worry, I understand," comforted Sabin. "Now lets review your new objective, you are supposed to negotiate with the ancient Gundam pilots and get the ZERO system in return for the Deathscythe HELL."  
  
"Okay sir, I'll be ready tomorrow morning," responded Zxyu.  
  
"Good,"said Sabin,"I'll be waiting."  
  
The next morning, Zxyu reported back to Sabin. He walked into the meeting room and saw that his childhood friend Kira was there as well.  
  
"Kira, what are you doing here?" he asked, honestly perplexed.  
  
"Well,"stated Sabin,"she is new to the Hangun and I thought she should go on her first mission with you. She has limited mobile suit skills but she is an ace at flying spacecrafts. She will learn from you. Remember, she may be your subordinate but if you do anything to her, you'll be speaking to me!"  
  
Sabin left the room after laying down a paper with the mission data on it. As soon as he was out of sight, Zxyu began scanning Kira. He started with her face and moved to her slender nose, her bright blue eyes, her chestnut brown hair and then he went lower. Before he could get any lower, she punched him in the stomach.  
  
"What was that for?" groaned Zxyu  
  
Kira exclaimed,"Don't treat me like a woman. Remember, I can kick your ass."  
  
"Yes ma'am,"said Zxyu jokingly. He took a few breaths to regain composure and continued. "But I believe we should be getting towards our mission. This paper says that we'll be taking the Aerosaur from shuttle bay 5. We should then proceed to these coordinates. Once there, we negotiate with the Gundam pilots for their data, okay."  
  
"Understood ma'am!" said Kira with confidence  
  
"What the hell, don't call me...,"started Zxyu before he was punched in the arm,"okay...ma'am is fine by me."  
  
The duo set out to find the Aerosaur. When they arrived at shuttle bay 5, they were surprised to find it gone. After examination of the area, they discovered a key on the ground with a note attached. The note said, "Don't take the Aerosaur, take the Aerogon. It is an experimental ship I've been working on and an inner feeling is telling me that you'll need it. It is in shuttle bay 13. Don't tell my superiors about this, Zxyu. Kira, I just want you to be the first to test it. Okay. Love, Dad."  
  
"Love ya,"whispered Kira into the air. "Okay, now we need to get going. C'mon."  
  
While on their way to the next shuttle bay, Zxyu randomly asked,"Sabin is your dad?"   
  
Kira rolled her eyes. She made a mental note to herself to hit Zxyu for being such an idiot. That was a bit too obvious, even for him.  
  
When they finally reached shuttle bay 13, a wondrous ship came into their line of sight. It was of a sleek shape. It resembled the American stealth bombers of the old days except that it was nearly quintupled in size.  
  
"Sweet,"gasped Zxyu  
  
The pair got into the ship and started heading towards Peacemillion. When they finally arrived about 18 minutes later, they found the Peacemillion under attack. Numerous Gemini mobile suits were overpowering the five pilots. Heavyarms soon ran out of ammo after barely being able to hit one of the mobile suits. Altron and Sandrock were quickly overpowered while Wing ZERO was slowly losing against a group of two Geminis. One other suit was out in the battlefield but it was not being shot at because it was guarding the Peacemillion.  
  
"I've got to help them,"yelled Zxyu to Kira as he ran to Deathscythe HELL,"I think I'll be able to fly this thing, I did it before."  
  
Zxyu flew off the Aerogon and headed towards the battlefield. When he arrived, he found four of the five mobile suits immobilized. Meanwhile, someone in the Peacemillion was shooting at the Geminis. Zxyu noticed the Sagittarius mobile suit on top of the ship was out of ammo. He flew off to rescue the pilot, whoever it was.  
  
The Sagittarius is a red mobile suit that had only melee weapons. It had a beam cannon, a beam gun, and a laser. Unfortunately, when hit in the right area, all three weapons become inactive. This mobile suit ended up being the very last one made out of titanium.  
  
Zxyu flew in and knocked the Sagittarius off the Peacemillion right as a giant net flew by and caught the it along with the other gundams. The Geminis then focused their attention on Zxyu whose shots barely scathed the superior Gemini mobile suits. Zxyu suddenly remembered the fact that Kira was out there alone. Right at that moment, hundreds of shots flew by at a streak of black coming towards them.  
  
"Watch out,"screamed Zxyu to the other mobile suit pilot as they were both about to be hit by a beam cannon blast.  
  
Suddenly, both mobile suits were accelerating away from the battle. It took Zxyu a moment to realize it, but they were on the Aerogon. After a bit of tough maneuvering, Zxyu got both himself and the mobile suit into the ship.  
  
A few minutes later, Zxyu discovered the pilot inside the Sagittarius. He found the unconscious girl inside the cockpit. Not wanting to wake her up, he gently picked her up and brought her to the nearest bed. Not surprisingly, the nearest bed was in his room.  
  
"What are you going to do with her?" asked Kira who had just turned on autopilot.  
  
"Well, I plan to let her rest and then we'll talk about it,"said Zxyu,"but right now we should get some rest too. It looks like we are a few light-years away from home base so we should have time."  
  
"Then g'night,"said Kira,"Oh yeah, bad news, the communication systems were busted during the high speed travel. I'll fix it tomorrow morning."  
  
After she had left, Zxyu turned towards the beautiful girl that lay on his bed. He slowly took off her suit and other unnecessary clothing and began tending to her wounds. He took his time as he examined her body. After getting his fill, he put the blankets over her and let her rest. He proceeded to strip himself of all his clothing except for his boxers. He was the kind of guy who wore only undies to bed. Surpisingly, his boxers had a history.  
  
Zxyu was wearing Death's boxers. These boxers were created during After Colony 199, during Duo's modeling days. Duo modeled many types of clothing but the most popular were his X-Men boxers, for which he became famous. The ads consisted of Duo holding a scythe and acting like death in only his boxers. His X-Men boxers were soon outlawed though because of the fact that Duo personally tried every pair on.  
  
These boxers were the only kind that men in the Hangun got because they were cheap. They bought them from Earth because they were tainted and gave them to the soldiers. Zxyu, unfortunately, had to wear them along with all the other male members of the organization.  
  
Zxyu went to the couch near the foot of the bed and almost instantly fell asleep.  
  
At around four in the morning, Hilde woke up. She examined her surroundings and saw a young man asleep on the couch. Her head was a bit dizzy but she still walked over to see who it was. Suddenly, she felt a bit cold so her half-asleep brain told her to sleep with the man for the body warmth. She climbed onto the couch with Zxyu and fell asleep on him.  
  
~Early morning~  
  
A huge clash arose from a far part of the galaxy. Zxyu flew there and examined the battle. He went into a nearby mobile suit and got ready to fight. He flew to a group of Gemini when suddenly a Sagittarius suit flew up and squished him onto a planet. Just then, Zxyu woke up.  
  
"Ahh,"he gasped when he realized Hilde was sleeping on him.  
  
Kira ran into the room and asked,"What's wrong. Oh...okay..I see....I'll leave you two alone." She promptly left the room. Well, at least to Zxyu's knowledge.  
  
Zxyu slowly tired to sit up but his whole body seemed to be covered by the sleeping maiden. He then poked her a bit to wake her up. Unfortunately, she seemed to be a heavy sleeper. He finally gathered up the courage to just plainly push her off the couch. This time, he gave her an even harder push but just as she was about to fall, she wrapped her arms around Zxyu's body and pulled him off as well.  
  
"Uh oh,"said Zxyu as he realized their position. Hilde seemed to have her arms around Zxyu while he was on top of her.  
  
Hilde's eyes fluttered open. She looked at the shirtless Zxyu and then looked at their position. She started laughing.  
  
"What's so funny," exclaimed Zxyu as he quickly stood up,"is it my hair?"  
  
Hilde pointed downwards and managed to say,"Death's boxers?" through her giggling.  
  
Outside the door, laughing could also be heard. Kira was looking in through a crack by the door. She fell back and started rolling around in laughter from the hilarious situation.  
  
Zxyu, not knowing of Kira's insane laughter, quickly picked up a blanket and covered up his boxers. He slowly side stepped to a bathroom connected to the room through another door.  
  
"Crap," Zxyu thought to himself," now that was embarrassing. But strangely nice."  
  
About 30 minutes of laughter later, all three people were at the table enjoying a meal cooked by Kira. Well, maybe not enjoying, it could be described better as swallowing in hopes of not tasting the horrific excuse for food. Burnt toast and burnt bacon with soggy eggs is not a meal that most people would prefer.  
  
"So," Zxyu asked Hilde,"what the hell happened?" Hilde looked down at her food and stirred it with her spork. She looked up."Well, I know that this was a horrible event. But it took me a while to figure out that it was my fault."  
  
"And how was it your fault," Kira asked.  
  
Hilde let a few tears escape and looked up at Zxyu,"I found out about your mission and I tried to help. I sorta tried to send a message to you...but...it was picked up by the Sadukar. They discovered our position and proceeded with their attack. My fault...all my fault."  
  
"I told you your womanizing would come with dire consequences," Kira jested, trying to lighten up the situation.  
  
"That's okay,"said Zxyu as he gave Hilde a comforting hug,"we'll get everybody back. The Hangun are ready to support you guys and do anything to get them back. We'll do anything to help you and destroy the Sadukar."   
  
Zxyu then looked up at Kira with a death glare. He seemed to be telling her not to mess with him again.  
  
Kira slowly got out of her chair and said,"Well, I better go and work on fixing the communication systems."  
  
Before she could get to her seat, the ship suddenly started bouncing around. The trio went to the bridge to check out the problem. Kira frantically pressed buttons while the other two looked out of the window in awe.  
  
"What are you guys looking at,"asked Kira as she looked up." Oh my god, what kind of galactic phenomenon is that?"  
  
The three stared out at a magnificent, unexplainable phenomenon. It seemed as if a semi-sphere was stuck between a small black hole and a huge sun. The gravitational pull of both kept it hovering in between. The three were suddenly knocked unconscious by a strange effect of gravity. 


	2. Metarun, a Step Towards Freedom?

My Stoopid Fanfic  
  
The crew woke up in a mysterious building. Kira woke up first. She looked around, the room seemed to be in the shape of a dome. The other two woke up a few moments after that.  
  
They spotted a figure walking towards them. The three yelled out to the person but it seemed as if they couldn't be heard. It ended up that the person didn't need to hear them. The person walked inside the room, turned on the light, and turned off the machine that seemed to control the dome.  
  
"Noin!" yelled Hilde,"what are you doing here?"  
  
Lucrezia Noin walked up to beds and greeted the three," Hilde, haven't seen you for awhile. And who are your friends?"  
  
"Oh," said Hilde," this is Kira and this is Zxyu. He's cute, isn't he."  
  
Zxyu started whistling a little tune and looked around, pretending he didn't hear Hilde say such a thing about him in front of a hero like Noin.  
  
"Where are we?"asked Kira as she examined the newly lighted room some more.  
  
Noin looked a the curious girl and stated, "You are in the rapid cell healing room. It is a room that aids in the rapid growth of cells to help heal wounds at a faster rate than the body could on its own."  
  
"But wasn't this outlawed when the inventor went mad and made the cell deterioration chambers?"asked Kira  
  
"What?" asked Noin,"from here, I can't find anything out. You're my first human contact since that uneventful day."  
  
Zxyu got out of bed and asked,"So where are we?"  
  
"You're on the remains of Omina," she answered. "The Sadukar destroyed half of this planet when they captured Zechs. The planet continued to drift outwards until it got caught in between the immense gravitational pull of the sun and the small black hole."  
  
"Wow!"gasped the three others  
  
Later, after numerous explanations, Noin introduced Zxyu to something she had been working on for all the years she had been on the planet. She led him to an immense mobile suit that she had built. It was called the Ryuujin, or the dragon god. It was similar to the other gundams but it had obvious differences. This mobile suit had wings that resembled a dragon's. It also had a long sword, similar to the kind that the ancient earth knights of medieval England had.  
  
"Wow,"said Zxyu in amazement before he put on a stern face and asked,"but how can this combat the Sadukar?"  
  
"This mobile suit," explained Noin," was created with metarun, a rare metal that I discovered on this planet. The metarun was formed because of this planet's position, the immense heat of the sun and the odd cooling effect of the black hole formed it. I discovered it near the planet's core which was also had its oddities. The planet's core has odd freezing balls of ice energy which seem to have an endless supply of icing power. Don't ask me, it is just weird."  
  
"So,"said Zxyu," this mobile suit is supposedly superior to the Geminis."  
  
"Well,"stated Noin,"it mostly depends on the pilot but from what I've observed from my testing, this metal releases some mind of radiation that increases one's fighting skills. It somehow taps into the brain and gives them an urge to fight."  
  
"I can't wait to try it out,"said Zxyu  
  
"You can test it now,"said Noin  
  
Zxyu walked over to the Ryuujin and slowly examined it. He ran his hand over the smooth metarun. He climbed up and opened up the ice blaster. He was suddenly hit by a blast of cold energy. He quickly closed it, already frozen to his bones.  
  
"What power,"stated Zxyu,"I can feel it already."  
  
Noin walked over to Zxyu and said,"I have made preparations for a test battle. Recently, I have acquired a Gemini mobile suit...well, scraps of it. I rebuilt it and I'm using it for battle purposes. This Gemini will be your training enemy. It will be ruthless and I cannot stop it once I start it. Do you accept?"  
  
"Anything to save the universe,"said Zxyu,"Time now to head out and kick some A-S-S!"  
  
Zxyu started climbing into the mobile suit. Before he could get all the way in, Noin yelled,"stop for a moment."  
  
Zxyu stared down at Noin, curious about why she was staring at him.  
  
"You've got your mother's eyes," she said, looking up,"now, go and fight."  
  
Zxyu absorbed the compliment and got into the immense mobile suit. He buckled himself up and started examining the controls. Surprisingly, these controls weren't similar to the controls in other mobile suits. It had a few normal things but it was lacking many key parts that controlled the normal mobile suit. The inside seemed to glow a bit but he didn't notice, he was too busy staring at the odd controls. Switching gears, he thought about how he was going to kick some Sadukar butt. The mobile suit stood up.  
  
"Slight mental controls,"stated Zxyu as he noted the experience for future flights,"now proceeding with Operation Kick Gemini Ass."  
  
He pressed a button and pulled a joystick to launch the mobile suit. He was going outwards to practice what would soon become one of his main purposes in life, kicking Sadukar ass.  
  
Meanwhile, on the Sadukar asteroid, the five gundam pilots were in a special containment cell. The cell was very similar to the cells on Earth but it had special climate controls. To make the prisoner suffer, the Sadukar would constantly change the temperature from extremely high to below freezing. At this moment, the five were in a cell in extremely hot weather.  
  
"Damn," cursed Duo while he fanned himself with his jacket,"I never knew torture until now."  
  
"Duo,"stated Wufei,"it's not even 100ºF yet. Why the hell are you fanning yourself?"  
  
"'Cause he feels like it,"said Quatre,"he may not be accustomed to hot weather like us desert people."  
  
"Guys,"said Heero,"we do not need to worry about the climate. If you had proper training then you would be able to stand temperatures from -20ºF to 140ºF. I'm assuming that you guys don't have that kind of training.  
  
"Now this is our plan, I have realized that the leader of the Sadukar is obsessed with the ancient remnants of Earth. We need to think like Earth prisoners to escape an 'Earth prison' like this one. Now, when the guard comes by, Duo will get him to the cell and then we'll knock him out. We can then unlock the cell door without distractions."  
  
"Perfect,"said Trowa,"but how will we get the door unlocked? The guard doesn't carry keys."  
  
"Just leave it up to me," said Duo  
  
Zxyu blasted the Gemini suit with a beam cannon but missed by a mile. He flew up to the suit and hope that the extra skills would kick in soon.  
  
Noin looked up at the sky. She saw many flashes and for once, she wished that Zechs would be defeated.  
  
Back at the jail, the guard was walking up and down the halls when he suddenly saw a sight that could offend anyone. The sight of Wolverine with the middle blade up on the back of somebody's butt.  
  
"Doo doo doo doooo doo doo,"sang Duo as he wiggled his butt back and forth,"like my ass?"  
  
The guard ran up to the cell and tried to kick it. Right before his foot came into contact with the offensive ass, Duo pulled his butt in and the guard received an extreme pain in the foot. Heero pulled the guard back through the bars while Wufei delivered a quick hit to the skull.  
  
"Good job,"said Duo while he pulled a spork out of his hair and picked the lock," but we all know that I did all the work."  
  
Meanwhile, a strange presence was surrounding Zxyu's mind. It seemed to have been taken over by the machine. His pupils turned pure black and he went into a trance. It was then that Noin realized that Zxyu was a true fighter.  
  
Zxyu went up to the Gemini mobile suit and grasped hands with it. He quickly twisted off one arm and then froze the other. Then, he had to deal with just the melee weapons. The Gemini mobile suit blasted forward to fight, truly Zechs style, and smashed into the Ryuujin. Zxyu was knocked back a bit but he remained calm. He took his sword and stuck it through the mobile suits head and command systems. After the tough half hour of battle, the impossible had been done.  
  
When he returned to the Ominan surface, he was greeted with cheers and hugs from the three women. He had only taken one small step but it was a huge step for the fight against the Sadukar.  
  
The five pilots had left the cell and journeyed through the hallways. They slowly made their way to the bridge to dispose of the Sadukar leader, who was still unknown. The got to the entrance to the bridge after traveling through unnervingly minimal security. Suddenly, a childish laughter echoed through the halls as the pilots were surrounded by numerous troops.  
  
Back on Omina, there was even more celebration than earlier. Kira had finally managed to contact the Hagun and they were on their way to the planet to prepare for the battle. Zxyu and Kira were dancing around with each other while Hilde was talking to Noin.  
  
"I know that this is a childish thing to ask,"stated Hilde,"but how do you know when you've found the right guy?"  
  
Noin thought for a moment and said,"Well, the perfect guy comes by once in a lifetime. You can never really be sure who it is until you get to know them."  
  
"It's just that," stuttered Hilde,"it's just that I know Duo loves me but I sorta like another guy as well. I don't know why but I have never truly understood love."  
  
"Well,"said Noin,"you don't find true love, true love finds you. Let the endless waltz of life go on and hope that you can find the right dance partner."  
  
Coincidentally, a slow song started playing on the radio. Zxyu walked up to Hilde, picked up her hand, and asked,"Shall we dance m'lady?"  
  
"Oh god," said Duo as he looked at the situation  
  
"Twenty-five soldiers," noted Heero in a monotone voice," heavy weaponry. Passageway five 10 feet wide and 30 feet in length."  
  
"Crap,"screamed Wufei as he realized that his sword wasn't with him. He'd have to fight it out by hand and foot.  
  
Soon more childish laughter filled the halls. It seemed to become louder every minute. Out of nowhere, fanfare played and a certain red headed child walked into the hall. Mariemaia Khushrenada was flanked by five more soldiers.  
  
"Mariemaia,"gasped Trowa,"Mariemaia Khushrenada."  
  
Mariemaia walked up to Trowa, looked into his eyes, and said,"Nice of you to remember my name."  
  
"But why,"asked Quatre,"why?"  
  
I'm not one of those TV villains that describes the whole plan, I'm doing this for the good of mankind. We will plainly dispose of you and then go on and conquer the universe.  
  
Heero started running towards the ten year old girl. Before he got close, he was tripped by a guard and fell flat on his face, right by Mariemaia's feet. Mariemaia looked down at the foolish young man and said," Make this one torture, put him in the cell deterioration chamber."  
  
"Yes ma'am," said a nameless soldier,"bring all the men back to the original cell except for this one. I'll take care of him."  
  
In space, a colossal ship headed towards the planet of Omina. Behind it were forty loyal soldiers preparing to fight for their master.  
  
"What is that sound," asked Zxyu as the ships' noises deafened the sound of the Aerogon radio.  
  
The four people walked outside to find two ships. One was a huge gray ship and the other was a smaller brownish ship. Zxyu walked up to the larger ship and greeted the great and powerful one who exited the ship.  
  
"Oh my god," said Zxyu as he bowed down to the figure,"I have never met  
  
you face to face."  
  
The one that Zxyu was groveling to was the leader of the Hangun. He was known all around the galaxy as a fierce fighter for justice. He was known as Khushrenada, the long time loyalist to Treize, also known for his fanaticism and devotion towards the late Treize.   
  
Khushrenada walked around the dusty ground. He looked straight towards Noin and asked,"How can this dust bowl play the role as the base for the Sadukar destruction?"  
  
"It is at a good tactical position," claimed Lucrezia," and it produces a rare metal that increases fighting abilities Khushrenada sir."  
  
"Please, call me Khush," he insisted.  
  
The conversation was then interrupted by the worried voices of forty men. Rashid, the leader of the Maguanac Corp., had a very worried look on his face."Where is Master Quatre,"he asked. Just then, the winds started to kick up. Dust started flying everywhere. The whole group had no choice but to go inside to escape the dust storm.  
  
  
  
Heero looked down at his shackles. Typical earth type. He was chained up. His feet were chained together and his hands were also. He unsuccessfully tried to break the metal chains. Heero and the four guards surrounding him soon reached the deterioration chamber with little trouble from the prisoner.  
  
"Retina scan."stated the computer in a monotone voice.  
  
The soldier followed orders and then the door opened. It opened to reveal Cid standing there. He looked at the bunch and said," Orders have been made that I take the prisoner for further analysis."  
  
"But Cid," said a soldier," we received no orders to give you the prisoner."  
  
Cid just stood there and laughed. He pulled a pad out of his pocket and he  
  
pushed a button. Jolts of electricity ran through the metal floor, immediately knocking out all five men. Cid stood there laughing for a few minutes, grateful for his rubber boots.  
  
Back on Omina, the bunch were discussing their situation. Noin put the kettle on and waited for the water to start boiling.  
  
"Tea," she asked to everyone in the room.  
  
Khush looked up and said in a polite manner,"Yes dear, I would appreciate some."  
  
The Maguanacs didn't seem to pay attention. They seemed to be in a deep conversation about the dangers that their loyal master was in. Zxyu looked at the desert men and looked back towards Noin. He asked for some tea as well. Hilde agreed to have some also.  
  
"So," asked the curious Khush," what makes you think that we are ready to take on all of the Sadukar?"  
  
"Well, we are in the middle of building Metarun mobile suits for the other Gundam pilots. We are also testing a new system that uses the metal to increase the fighting abilities of normal soldiers." said Zxyu.  
  
The kettle began to emit a high pitched whistle. Noin picked it up and started pouring tea in the mugs for the few that wanted some. She picked up the mug that Zechs had given her and treasured it for a few moments. She poured herself a cup and sat down. She looked towards Zxyu and Khush. "Take whatever mug you want. Now who wants the spork mug and who wants the rose mug?"  
  
Zxyu and Khush both immediately went for the spork mug. Zxyu pushed Khush's hand away from the mug that depicted the object of his devotion. Khush glared at Zxyu with Heero's © Death Glare when he lost his mug. Hilde just took a plain mug with a picture of the Coca-Cola polar bears and inhaled deeply to smell the tea.  
  
Zxyu glared back and said," I may worship you but I will not give up a sporky object for you."  
  
Khush finally gave up and picked up the rose mug. Hilde took this as a chance to make herself known. "Ahhh, roses. A rose by any other name would still be good to eat."  
  
Khush laughed and said," Yes dear, a rose by any other name would still smell just as sweet. If you had studied a bit more about Treize, you'd know more about his affection for this sweet smelling flower."  
  
Hilde blushed out of embarrassment and ran off crying.  
  
Zxyu sighed and said,"Her feelings get hurt easily. Let me go comfort her."  
  
Khush quickly switched the rose mug with the spork mug and looked up at Noin. "It is that obvious, right?"  
  
"Yes," said Noin quietly," but back to business. We need to get moving if we want to save the pilots. We need them for the final battle. They are exceptional pilots. They are THE pilots."  
  
Khush stood up after drinking his sporky tea. "That means we have to get to work on the mobile suits right away. I'll get the Hangun to start drilling while you get those foul beasts to start building."  
  
Abdul looked up and then stared at the elegant man. He spoke for the whole Corps. and said," I will let you go this time because we need to save Master Quatre but next time....you're gonna pay. We do not appreciate such insults."  
  
Rashid pushed Abdul down and then said," No more fighting! We must hurry!"  
  
All of the men and women then got to work on their individual tasks.  
  
Heero awoke to find himself strapped to a table. He was strapped so tightly that even the "perfect soldier" could not escape. "I see you've woken up," said Cid with malicious intent,"now I can carry out my plans."  
  
Cid picked up a syringe with a fine dust in it and mixed it with a red substance.  
  
"What I have here," said Cid," is the mix of a compounded material of an odd rock I found in space. After numerous experiments with this rock , which I call Super Fighting Improvement Metal, or SFIM (metarun), I have concluded that I can indeed succeed in what my father failed to do."  
  
"You're father?"asked Heero as he tried to get up  
  
"Oh," said Cid," You may know him as Doctor J. He was dying of a disease a few years back so he created me. Here I am, his test tube baby. Now, I am going to successfully create the perfect soldier without all the weak emotions that my father allowed."  
  
Cid walked up to Heero and injected the substance into his bloodstream.  
  
"What's wrong," asked Zxyu when he arrived at the bathroom where Hilde was hiding," you know you can tell me."  
  
Hilde wiped here eyes with a tissue and confided," I don't know. I'm used to making stupid remarks but never in front of such a prominent man. He used to be my teacher back at the academy and he used to yell at me whenever I messed up on a quote. I had to suffer endless hours of torture from my fellow soldiers."  
  
"That is the past,"said Zxyu as he put his arm around Hilde," just let it go. And remember, big girls don't cry."  
  
"Just so many bad memories," sobbed Hilde  
  
"Just think forward not backward. Think of the future," said Zxyu in a comforting voice.  
  
"You mean think about you?" asked Hilde  
  
Zxyu pondered for a moment and then said,"If you want to, yes. Now rest and get those bad thoughts out of your head."  
  
Zxyu led her into his bedroom and let her sleep there while he slowly thought about his future as well.  
  
~The next morning~  
  
Her eyelids felt as if they weighed hundreds of pounds. She tried to open them but they wouldn't open. She then felt a pain in the back of her head.  
  
"Must wake up. But I'm too tired." Hilde said to herself. Suddenly her veins froze. Her whole body seemed as if it was turning into ice. She jumped out of bed in an attempt to get into a fighting position.  
  
"Easy there," said Kira as she put the bucket back into the corner of the room," you okay?"  
  
Hilde scratched her head and asked," Why wouldn't I be okay. I just went to sleep in my...somebody else's room."  
  
Kira stared at Hilde for a moment and laughed,"You don't remember any of it? Geesh, have you ever had drugs before?"  
  
"Well, no," asked a confused Hilde," but why does it matter?"  
  
Kira sighed and then said," Well, you know that tea you had yesterday? Well, that was one of Zechs' stashes of 'special' tea. Noin accidentally confused it with the real thing. Surprisingly, you're the only one who went crazy 'cause of it. Must be because your body isn't used to it."  
  
Hilde stood up and walked towards the door."Wow" she said as she opened the door and headed towards the bathroom to take a shower. Zxyu walked in and decided to check up on Hilde. "Hey Kiwaka, what are you doing here?"  
  
Kira headed towards Zxyu and said," Just a little morning wake up call for the inexperienced druggie."  
  
Zxyu gave her the death glare for a moment and walked out. He walked towards the bathroom from which he heard music come from. He put his ear to the door and listened to the heavenly singing voice of the angel in the shower. He seemed to be mesmerized by it for a moment as he leaned on the door and let the music capture his heart.  
  
Kira decided to follow him to see if she could cause some mischief. She noticed what Zxyu was doing so she walked up to him and screamed ,"Boo!"  
  
Zxyu, who was surprised, put his hand down on the old fashioned doorknob for balance. Unfortunately, the door was unlocked so he pushed the doorknob down, the door opened up, and he fell into the bathroom.  
  
"Oh My God!!!," screamed Hilde as she saw the young man come tumbling into her current domain.  
  
"I...I...can explain," he begged as he slowly crawled out of the bathroom.  
  
"You awful, awful man!" screamed Hilde as she pulled the shower curtain over her naked body and threw one of the soap bars at Zxyu.  
  
Zxyu exited the bathroom as quickly as possible and closed the door. He leaned back on it for support as he gasped for air. Looking up, noticed the little lady standing a few yards away, laughing like a hyena. He rushed towards the woman and knocked her to the ground. He started wrestling with her and soon got her down on the ground underneath his knee.   
  
"Apologize!" he screamed  
  
"I'm.....sorry." she said between bursts of laughter.  
  
Back on the Sadukar asteroid, the four pilots were discussing their ways of escape.  
  
"We can't try the same thing again," sighed Quatre.  
  
"Especially without Heero," Trowa agreed.  
  
"Then how do we escape with all the armed guards right outside the door?" asked Duo  
  
Wufei slammed his hand on the stone wall and said,"We have no possible way to escape."  
  
"Wait a second," Duo said with a sly smile," who says we can't use that old plan again?"  
  
Before anybody could do or say anything, Duo had his butt up to the cell bars. At that moment, four guards walked up behind Duo. One cleared his throat and said,"By order of Queen Mariemaia, we shall escort you to the arena."  
  
Duo frowned while the three other pilots smiled for a moment. After their moment of silent laughter, they put grim faces on. The guards opened the cell door and led the pilots away.  
  
"What was so funny?" asked Duo  
  
"Well, it's not our predicament," snickered Quatre," but one guard was staring at your ass."  
  
Duo frowned and said,"That is no reason to laugh at me you insignificant fool."  
  
Mariemaia quickly called one of her guards and ordered, "Call off Heero's execution immediately!"  
  
"But your highness, the one called Heero Yuy has escaped," the soldier responded.  
  
Mariemaia frowned and opened her mouth to yell something. Before she could call for a sweep of the ship, Cid walked in with Heero by his side. "I've found Heero," he said," shall we proceed to the arena?"  
  
"Sure." said Mariemaia as she stepped out of her seat.  
  
Ten minutes later, at the arena, all five pilots found themselves in a remake of the Colosseum. They saw a young red headed girl stand in front of them on the balcony. "Have you wondered why you're all here?" she said. "Well, I've been studying ancient Earth history and I've found a more amusing way to get rid of you. You shall die like the great gladiators of Rome did. You will die in a great, bloody massacre!" 


End file.
